What did I do to deserve this?

The title of this post may lead the readers (if there are any) to believe that this post is somehow about me.  It really isn't.  It is about my son and his activity today.  Writing this down today is giving me a chance to reflect on the job I am doing as a mom.  I adore my children and would give my life to protect them, so why is that  not enough?  Today started like everyday does, my 3 &1/2 year-old woke me up by slamming his door en route to my bed.  Today was a little earlier then usual and my husband turned the TV on and told him not to wake mommie.  Little did my husband know that I am awake, most mornings, the minute Kyan's hands start turning the door handle in his room.  After watching a little TV we headed downstairs for breakfast.  We played in the house until it was time to head out and get a few things for dinner.  Kyan, Liam and I went upstairs to get clothes for both boys to wear, I grabbed the bathroom garbage can and headed downstairs with a shout out for them to follow me.  I made it downstairs and into the kitchen when I heard a loud thud.  I dropped the garbage can and ran for the stairs.  After taking them two at a time I got to the baby's room as he came waddling out.  I looked in and found his very large heavy IKEA dresser on the ground and could only hear Kyan's screams and cries.  I lifted the dresser off of the floor and yelled for him to crawl out.  He just continued to cry as I watched and waited for him to crawl out.  When he did not crawl out I looked and saw his lower extremities were pinched in the bottom drawer.  I then had to hold the dresser up, while I opened the drawer and pulled him out.  I can NOW talk calmly about this after shedding many tears all day long.  It was at this point that I set about checking his body for broken bones, punctured organs and found nothing.  Except this mark on his head.

I have spent all day worrying and wondering why I could not keep him from getting hurt today.  That is my job to keep my children out of harms way.  It was at this moment I began to realize how helicopter parents are born.  And I beg anyone out there who has been through this and survived with intact children to show me there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that it is truly worth all the work we do to raise them to adults.  So I sign off tonight with a sincere OH BOY WHY ME?